A peek at what technology professionals think about their jobs, their companies, and their fellow employees -- when they think the boss isn't listening.
It ain't easy being an IT person, especially in a small company. On the one hand, you've got to deliver world-class service with a neighborhood-size budget. You're expected to be an expert on everything from server virtualization to virus removal. And your CEO probably thinks your job is pretty much just keeping the lights on. Worst of all, clueless users keep getting in the way of your big innovation projects by wasting your time with silly questions and pointless requests.
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I recently returned from moderating a couple of panel discussions at the first annual Spiceworld, a user conference for Spiceworks, the free, ad-supported network management and community software. Attended by more than 100 IT managers from small and midsize companies, as well as a smattering of systems integrators and CFOs and such, the session was a great opportunity to share information with like-minded participants. There was lots of valuable technical talk, of course, but there also was a deep sense of a shared predicament.
For me, the defining moment came via a question from a New England-based IT manager, who wanted to know when "enough was enough." At what point, he wondered, could he tell off the engineers at his company when they continually asked stupid questions, imposed unreasonable demands, and showed a lack of respect for his team. What do we do when they push us too far? When are we allowed to snap?
The answer, of course, is never. We know that no matter how bone-headed the question, how annoying the request, how supercilious the manner, how little the respect, you just can't let 'em have it. No matter how much they deserve it.
So what do you do? Over time, IT folks have developed their own unique subculture, complete with code words and secret handshakes -- OK, not so much the secret handshakes, but you get the picture. We discussed a lot of these issues at the conference, and many also are hot topics on the Spiceworks forums, as well as anywhere geeks congregate.
The New Englander can't tell his users what he really thinks, but I can. I'm going to open the kimono a little bit here and share some of the things that IT folks really think and talk about, behind closed server closet doors.
First of all, since IT folks can't always take the time to deal with cranky users, they've developed a wide range of ways to avoid getting involved in user problems -- mostly because many of the requests range from misconceived to stupid to impossible to nonsensical. According to the Spiceworks forums, these are the most popular:
Top 6 User Avoidance Techniques:
- Reboot and try it again: Always a classic, with the added benefit that it often actually works!
- We're working on it: Maybe we are. Maybe we aren't.
- I'm going to have to do some additional research. I'll get back with you when I know more. Never commit to how much more
- It's on my list: Just don't say what list.
- Submit a ticket: Works especially well in shops that don't use help desk tickets.
- The problem is with their server, not ours: Don't we wish?
Honorable mentions include "I have higher priority issues right now," "we need to upgrade the software/server/network to do that," "Oh, it must be the flux capacitor," "RTFM" (Read the F%#&ing Manual), and "solar flares!" And vice versa, a problem that corrects itself is known as an FM problem. Short for "Freakin' Magic."
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If, for some reason, an IT person is actually cornered by a user looking for help, there are a number of code phrases that can be used to describe the situation, without the user understanding what's going on. Here are some of the best I've come across (please feel free to use the comments sections to add your own):
Top 4 User Acronyms:
- ID-Ten-T: Written as ID10T, natch
- PICNIC: Problem In Chair, Not In Computer
- PEBKAC: Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair
- CODE 18: An error due to the being 18 inches from the screen
Given all of that, why does anyone choose to become an IT person in a small company? Here are some of the top reasons:
Top 5 Reasons I Like Being An IT Pro
- Problem solving
- Access to tech toys
- Computers don't talk back
- Being in control
- Better than working retail
Again, the also-rans are equally instructive, ranging from "Being my own boss," "Absolute Power! Bu-wa-ha-ha!" and "Being able to "magically" fix the problem" to "What else am I going to do?" and "Taking things away from the end user."
If you're an end user, keep this in mind next time you ask IT for help. And if you're in IT, try to remember that end users are just trying to do their job so that the company you all work for can survive and thrive. The less energy you spend sweating user support, the more you'll have left for innovation that can help your company succeed. Oh, and you can bet that the users have some interesting names for IT, too.
See more columns by Fredric Paul
Fredric Paul is publisher/editor-in-chief of bMighty.com and SmallBizResource.com.
